Corrupt a Wish

[Arwen_Daeneri31]

The electricity bill arrives and is more affordable, but only because they shut it off so you couldn't use it til you paid.

I wish I could teleport rather than take the bus.

[waggawerewolf27]

Lo & behold, you can teleport, in much quicker time. But there are still buses, which stop & start for people who need them, & who if pedestrians & teleporting people get in their way, will collide with them, according to the laws of physics....

I wish I could get a haircut that is easy maintenance, looks good on me 100% of the time, & doesn't cost me a fortune every six weeks or so.

[Arwen_Daeneri31]

You get a haircut that is easy maintenance and does look good even if it was cut by a student at a beauty school for free and looks uneven in some parts but that seems to be a style in itself.

I wish my homework would finish itself.

[Courtenay]

Your homework now finishes itself, but gets all the answers wrong.

I wish I could afford first class air travel every time I go back to Australia.

[King_Erlian]

You can afford first class air travel every time you go back to Australia, but you can't afford it on the return journey from Australia to England.

I wish that I could have a song that I've written become a hit in the charts.

[Wunderkind_Lucy]

One of your songs has become a hit in the charts.... of scientists who are analyzing various songs to decipher a mysterious code.

(I think I would be happy if anyone bothered to put music to the lyrics I've written and recorded a track )

I wish I wouldn't get sick when I have so many deadlines.

~Wunder

[Movie Aristotle]

Granted. You don’t get sick, but your deadlines have been moved up.

I wish all my devices were wireless.

[waggawerewolf27]

Your wish is granted & all your devices are wireless. As are the vacuum cleaner, the fridge, the washing machine etc. The trouble is, they all start telling you what to do & when to do it.

I wish there would be no more bushfires until next spring.

[Courtenay]

There are now no more bushfires until next spring, but that's because it doesn't stop raining until then.

I wish we could have snow for Christmas in England!

[waggawerewolf27]

My most sincere wish for you will be granted, to your utmost. You will have a White Christmas this year. The trouble is you will be snowed under with snow to such a degree that all the mod cons don't work as well as they should.

I wish for a nice cool bearable Christmas we can all enjoy.

[Courtenay]

Right, you get a nice cool bearable Christmas of about 25 degrees C, but the very next day it's up to 40 again. (this can actually happen in Melbourne)

I wish we could bring back creatures that humans have driven to extinction.

[Wunderkind_Lucy]

All of the creatures that humans drove to extinction have been brought back, but only the large carnivores, leaving you with no choice but to abandon everything to find safe refuge.

I wish I could travel at the speed of light.

~Wunder

[King_Erlian]

You can travel at the speed of light, but the relativistic time dilation effect (as described by Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity) means that you instantaneously find yourself at the end of time.

I wish I could remember everything I read.

[Courtenay]

You can now remember everything you read, but you can't remember anything else.

I wish I had a flying horse like Fledge in The Magician's Nephew.

[Caspian_Xth]

You now have a flying horse but it cost you a page out of your Magician's Nephew book.

I wish I could play profession baseball.

[Arwen_Daeneri31]

You can now play professional baseball but you are on a minor league team and are on the bench most of the time.

I wish I had echolocation like a dolphin.