The Evil and Dark Lair of the LoESRM

[De_De]

May I join The League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds, oh great Grand High Dark Overlord of the League! I will stand by you, and be brave to the end!

[MountainFireflower]

Ah, but I did not forget them! Brownies are best consumed after dinner, fresh out of the oven with a cold glass of milk while reading about the latest spoilers. Ice cream, however, is fit to be devoured (like the great spoilers we seek) at any time. Yes, many people, spoiled or not, call me dot. You may as well, fellow minion. I take it you are also a visitor of the Town Square?

Ah, yes. I definitely agree with you there. *dishes up another bowl of ice cream for good measure* I have visited the Town Square many times but never actually made my presence known. Perchance I shall do so soon. You are permitted to call me Fireflower or MFF or Mountie or whatever suits your fancy.

Dragon Eustace isn't at all like I imagined he would be (Not only did I think he would be much larger, there's just something about him that doesn't look right). Perhaps his size is due to the filmmakers wanting him to be smaller than the Sea Serpent.

Good point. I do agree that Dragon Eustace is small, too small. I also always seemed to picture him as... green. Not brown.

Let me add yet another type of animal our dear "dragon" resembles -- The pixar grasshoppers on A Bug's life. Especially on the poster when Dragon Eustace has his face looking right at you. It is really the same face as those grasshoppers...

Yes! That's exactly what he looks like. Fairly disturbing if you ask me. I do not approve of this dragon-cow-goat-grasshopper-thing... with arms.

The fact that Gael has fallen in love with Reepicheep!?

Okay, so I made that last one up. But you gotta admit, that would be a very spoilery-spoiler...

Oh dear. I am glad this spoiler has not yet been confirmed. That might push me over the edge.

I must agree with dot - this is insanely fun.

[Lady_Liln]

I am somewhat afraid to join a League lead by a Dark Lord whom I have heard terrible and fearful stories about, but I do hope (wait, are we allowed to hope? The film's not overly hopeful thus far. . .) I shall be a good member, if I am given simple tasks to further the Spoiled Rotten Empire.

Unless you do it illegally. Don't do that. We don't want to get sued or something. I'd have to start charging dues and evil Masterminds don't like to pay dues.

Minions don't like dues either. (Wonderful opening, btw, very well done! )

I have the free Join the League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds Because We Have Half the World's Food Suppy all-you-can-eat buffet! 10,000 different dishes from all around the world and even the multiverse! Feast upon it as you would spoilers.

Oooh! Yum!! (Who has the other half?? )

May all who do not join the minions of the Spoiled Rotten Empire meet an unfathomable fate!

It's called The Voyage of Random BlueStars and GreenSmoke — ohandit'ssortofnarnian.

It displeases me as well. But what bothers me even more is that I cannot figure out what it does resemble. When my younger sister saw it she said it looked like a goat. I don't think it looks like a goat, but it most certainly does not look like a dragon.

I don't see a goat, but it's not very dragon-like. I think I could live with the arm-like front paws, but the head just seems so. . . dinosaur/rectangular/abnormal.

What is this madness? Minions speaking the dreadful dialect of the Monastery? Now this just will not do.

What do we speak? I seem to recall that when I was but a wee lurker in the days of the PC spoiler-fest it was more of a pirate-derived form of speech?

I have visited the Town Square many times but never actually made my presence known. Perchance I shall do so soon.

Quit lurking! Dull college keeps me away of late, but the Town Square is the best kept secret (okay, it's not well kept, but bear with me ) of NarniaWeb. The Square Onions who live there change with the years, but each and everyone is awesome, funny, and lovely to chat with. Even those of the Monastery.

*takes a plateful of various sweets from the buffet and awaits the next batch of spoilers*

[MountainFireflower]

*wonders why this thread has been so quiet today*

May I join The League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds, oh great Grand High Dark Overlord of the League! I will stand by you, and be brave to the end!

Welcome to our ranks, De_De. Make yourself as comfortable as you wish.

Quit lurking! Dull college keeps me away of late, but the Town Square is the best kept secret (okay, it's not well kept, but bear with me ) of NarniaWeb. The Square Onions who live there change with the years, but each and everyone is awesome, funny, and lovely to chat with. Even those of the Monastery.

Square Onions? Yes, everyone is awesome there. I have made my presence known there already, dear minion... be happy.

...the head just seems so. . . dinosaur/rectangular/abnormal.

Yes, that's what it is! He does look like a dinosaur. A dinosaur-grasshopper? Oy.

Has everyone seen the news story with the "I Can Read" pictures? (See here.) Not anything too spoilery, but interesting to look at all the same.

[Lady Galadriel]

What is this madness? Minions speaking the dreadful dialect of the Monastery? Now this just will not do.

*screams* Ack! It is the dialect of the Monastery! Well, at least I can drop the accent now.

What do we speak? I seem to recall that when I was but a wee lurker in the days of the PC spoiler-fest it was more of a pirate-derived form of speech?

Now that accent would be interesting to try writing... Never tried that one before, har har.

Has everyone seen the news story with the "I Can Read" pictures? (See here.) Not anything too spoilery, but interesting to look at all the same.

I like them. I can't help wondering what Edmund is doing with the sword in the second picture. I think it might even be a different angle on the same shot in the trailer when he draws the sword in the cave.

We need to talk about something more drastic... Hmm... What should it be?

Something...green? Or something blue?

Awaiting December 10th...

[Bookwyrm]

Greetings, minions De_De and Lady_Liln! Together we shall march in triumph across the land with the ashes of the Monastery beneath our feet! And I see another one of those pesky little Spoiler-Free types has invaded our hallowed halls. Stupid death rays must need recalibration AGAIN! I think it might be my aura of smug self-satisfaction of my enlightenment. Bother.

Yes, I do believe that last time there was some sort of piratical blather. I really can't be bothered to maintain that sort of scurvy jive for two months though. Though I really do not mind if others choose to do so. I think we could fit a pirate ship into the basement's hidden lagoon. As long as it isn't Monasteryese.

I believe it was the lovely moddess Valia who described Dragon!Eustace as a flying pig/boar/thing. I tend to agree. The presence of arms instead of legs is bizarre and doesn't fit with the description in the book which mentions legs rather than arms.

[Aslans Country]

The fact that Lucy was kidnapped by Dufflepuds, instead of going by her own will? The fact that the Dark Island is taking over the universe?! The fact that Gael has fallen in love with Reepicheep!?

*gasps* I too am relieved that this has not been confirmed. In fact, I dearly hope it will never be confirmed.

As for the goat-cow-grasshopper-pig-dinosaur that is now styling itself as Dragon Eustace.. to me it looks like a bat, but anyway. Actually, I should probably stop looking at it because pretty soon it'll be permanently embedded into my head when I read VDT.

Something...green? Or something blue?

Me wonders if we could somehow fuse the two together, forcing them to blend with the ocean, and cast them into the sea to trouble us no more.

I do wonder if there are actually any spoilers which please us. Maybe we just forget those. Or maybe they just don't exist. *tries to think of one*
Some help, please?

*takes a few more dishes from the buffet*

[Bookwyrm]

The Grand High Dark Overlord is pleased by the spoilers we have discovered from the first 30 minutes or so of the movie. The plot seems mostly intact and the characters mostly in character.

[Valiant]

Ooo, what an interesting thread...

May I join Oh dark one? I am both evil and mad enough to be of great assistance to your evilness if you accept me.

[Lady Galadriel]

I do wonder if there are actually any spoilers which please us. Maybe we just forget those. Or maybe they just don't exist. *tries to think of one*
Some help, please?

Eustace seems straight out of the book. I recall there being some delight over him having his journal. All of Will Poulter's acting which I have seen so far I am very pleased with. I eagerly await his interactions with Reepicheep!

Aslan's line to Lucy in the end (about having another name) also delights me.

For anyone who hasn't seen it already, the NarniaFaith.com Spoilers thread has...you guessed it...SPOILERS!!! viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2009&start=0
There are quite a few spoilers listed in the thread. One of them is that Gael's identity has been confirmed.

As a side note, Caspian was referred to as 'Prince' at least once.

I don't think I'm going to like what has happened to Edmund. It seems he does have a "power struggle" issue. I'm not sure if it only makes its appearance on Goldwater Island or not.
I just realized something interesting on this, however. When the White Witch makes her appearance, it seems she appeals straight for the weakness which (I presume) he has been struggling with. This is probably the climax of his character arc as he refuses to give in to the Witch (because surely, that's what he does).

[Liberty Hoffman]

Greetings once again, my fellow Spoiled Rotten friends! how goes the spoilerness?
I am so happy to hear about the Dawn Treader soundtrack coming to the USA on December 7! amazing and awesome!
ha! my mother guessed correctly! she said that Gael was going to be one of the slaves that goes on the ship to look for her mother and my mom was right!
yay!

[Puddleglum]

'Been wandering in, and out of these buildings you human folk have put up. Looks interesting. While I must admit an interest in the spoilers once in awhile, cannnot say I would be good as one of those minion folks. "Live,and let live", I suppose.
Good food I admit, even without the eels. Kind of messy on the floor, but I guess you don't pay the help much to clean.
Hello My Lady. Long time no see.

[MountainFireflower]

Now that accent would be interesting to try writing... Never tried that one before, har har.

Arr, ye've never tried it? 'Tis amusing until ye can't think of how ta say a word in pirate-speak. I prefer the more distinguished speak of days gone by, which is fortunate since that is what we have been using.

The Grand High Dark Overlord is pleased by the spoilers we have discovered from the first 30 minutes or so of the movie. The plot seems mostly intact and the characters mostly in character.

I agree, but it causes me wonder, what happened to the other hour and a half?

I think it might even be a different angle on the same shot in the trailer when he draws the sword in the cave.

What do you mean? When his sword turns blue?

The presence of arms instead of legs is bizarre and doesn't fit with the description in the book which mentions legs rather than arms.

Yes, after all, the bracelet got stuck on his arm because it thickened into a leg, I believe.

As for the goat-cow-grasshopper-pig-dinosaur that is now styling itself as Dragon Eustace.. to me it looks like a bat, but anyway. Actually, I should probably stop looking at it because pretty soon it'll be permanently embedded into my head when I read VDT.

Ahh! May it never be so! I almost fear watching the movie, lest it dispel the nice, green dragon that has taken up residence in my mind when I read the book. And now Dragon Eustace is a goat-cow-grasshopper-pig-dinosaur-bat. I'm going to start losing track.

I am so happy to hear about the Dawn Treader soundtrack coming to the USA on December 7!

Really? It is? How did I miss this? This is good news! Too bad it only precedes the movie by a few days.

Kind of messy on the floor, but I guess you don't pay the help much to clean.

Oh, hello Puddleglum! No, we are far too busy looking at spoilers to clean. But we welcome you in spite of that unfortunate fact. Make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you will be convinced to stay.
Also, my father and I really respect what you said in the Silver Chair about how you choose to believe in a Narnia even if there isn't one, and you're the only Narnian left. I may be misquoting here, but really, like they say, faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding onto.

[Lady Galadriel]

Welcome to the Empire, Valiant. I am sure the Dark Lord is hereabouts. Isn't this thread hilarious?

Arr, ye've never tried it? 'Tis amusing until ye can't think of how ta say a word in pirate-speak. I prefer the more distinguished speak of days gone by, which is fortunate since that is what we have been using.

My skills in the pirate talk are limited pretty much to, 'Ahoy, matey!'

What do you mean? When his sword turns blue?

Sorry, I must not have stated it clearly. I'm not talking about when his sword turns blue, I'm thinking of a very fast shot of Edmund in a cave right after Coriakin tells him that "the sword [Edmund] carries must be laid at Aslan's table." I believe this scene matches with the picture of Caspian and Edmund (holding a sword) on Goldwater. This isn't really a spoiler, I guess, but an interesting connection to make on what is really happening in the trailer.

Good evening, Puddleglum. Yes, it's been a while. You should make yourself comfortable here.

*fetches a broom to sweep the floor and awaits burst of spoilery conversation*

[Puddleglum]

[Oh, hello Puddleglum! No, we are far too busy looking at spoilers to clean. But we welcome you in spite of that unfortunate fact. Make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you will be convinced to stay.
Also, my father and I really respect what you said in the Silver Chair about how you choose to believe in a Narnia even if there isn't one, and you're the only Narnian left. I may be misquoting here, but really, like they say, faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding onto.

Thank you kind Lady for the words, and the invite. While I find the food good, even without eels, I must be off. You see a Marsh-Wiggle is only really comfortable in a marsh. Or at best on an open, (dare I say it here) Narrow road.
Fiarly close on the quote. Don't be upset, I even forgot what I said, and had to look.
I'll most likely be wandering in from time to time. Tell that dark lord fella I enjoy the security gadgets Keeps a fellow like me nimble.

[Bookwyrm]

Well, at least someone enjoys the security I worked so hard to establish. Bother. Perhaps I'll grow a few mutant guard dogs next. Ooo, or maybe an exploding cappuccino machine? BwahahHaAHAHAHAaaHHAHAHAH!!

Welcome, minion Valiant! The road ahead is long, but it has spoilers, so awesome! ... Ahem. Is it evil laugh time again?

My theory on the rest of the movie after all the delightful book faithfulness vanishes is that aliens stole the proper script and they had to film the leaked script instead, just with a few tweaks.