The Evil and Dark Lair of the LoESRM

[starkat]

*dares to step foot in the halls of the spoilered*

Aye Lady Galdriel. This is the third time we have had such an event. The Monastery should open in the next 24 hours for those who wish the way of the unspoilered. The Pilgrims of the Middle Way have indeed set up camp between the two as the Grand High Dark Overlord has said. We are an peaceful group who wish to indulge in a few spoilers, but not to be spoiled rotten as those who abide in these dark halls.

*returns to the camp of the middle way*

[daughter of the King]

*cackles with glee*
May all who do not join the minions of the Spoiled Rotten Empire meet an unfathomable fate! Strange it is, just the other day I had remembered mentions of the Monastery (forgive me for even mentioning that unenlightened place in your presence, Grand High Dark Overlord) in the most excellent Town Square and so I began to seek records of its existence. I did not find the records, but today I discover that I need not search any longer. My curiosity can now be turned to more enlightening things such as green witches, brown dragons (who don't look like dragons) and blue swords.

[Arwenel]

Greetings and welcome to this cheerfully dank Tower of Enlightenment, minion Arwenel! We have many comfy chairs. We borrowed them from the Spanish Inquisition. Take your rest upon them. I believe they even have soft cushions.

Awesome. Pilgrims of the Middle Way might be a bit more my style, but the word "pilgrim" just brings to mind self-denial, and i'm bad at that. Besides, who could say no to a 10,000 dish buffet?

*Takes a slice of pizza, a big bowl of chocolate ice cream, and flops very comfortably onto a comfy chair*

[MountainFireflower]

My curiosity can now be turned to more enlightening things such as green witches, brown dragons (who don't look like dragons) and blue swords.

The aforesaid brown dragon does not resemble a dragon at all. This spoiler greatly displeases me.

Pilgrims of the Middle Way might be a bit more my style, but the word "pilgrim" just brings to mind self-denial, and i'm bad at that. Besides, who could say no to a 10,000 dish buffet?

*Takes a slice of pizza, a big bowl of chocolate ice cream, and flops very comfortably onto a comfy chair*

I concur. Pilgrims brings the same image to my mind as well. For this very reason I have chosen the Evil and Dark Lair, and all the spoilers that shall come with it. Mwahaha.

*joins you on a comfy chair with a big bowl of ice cream... oh, and a brownie*

[daughter of the King]

Did someone say ice cream? *immediately searches the buffet and laughs triumphantly when she finds it. The very-spoiled minion then sits down to enjoy one of the comfy chairs*

The aforesaid brown dragon does not resemble a dragon at all. This spoiler greatly displeases me.

It displeases me as well. But what bothers me even more is that I cannot figure out what it does resemble. When my younger sister saw it she said it looked like a goat. I don't think it looks like a goat, but it most certainly does not look like a dragon.

[MountainFireflower]

Did someone say ice cream? *immediately searches the buffet and laughs triumphantly when she finds it. The very-spoiled minion then sits down to enjoy one of the comfy chairs*

It displeases me as well. But what bothers me even more is that I cannot figure out what it does resemble. When my younger sister saw it she said it looked like a goat. I don't think it looks like a goat, but it most certainly does not look like a dragon.

You forgot the brownies, daughter of the King, my fellow minion! (Does anyone call you "dot"? ) Help yourself.

I cannot make up my mind as to what it does look like either. Its mouth and snout seems to resemble a cow, in the newest trailer at least.

[Ithilwen]

Greetings good Bookwyrm! If there is room, it would pleaseth me to be allowed entrance into such a noble gathering as this. For after witnessing such treacheries of which filmmakers are capable, I realize that we must not enter into the dangerous land of theaters until we are fully prepared.


~Riella

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

*Enters briefly, pointedly ignoring the ten thousand dish buffet*

Strange it is, just the other day I had remembered mentions of the Monastery (forgive me for even mentioning that unenlightened place in your presence, Grand High Dark Overlord) in the most excellent Town Square and so I began to seek records of its existence. I did not find the records, but today I discover that I need not search any longer. My curiosity can now be turned to more enlightening things such as green witches, brown dragons (who don't look like dragons) and blue swords.

Ah, but whatever the Spoiled Rotten may desire believe, the blessed records of the Monastery still exist today. Thou can find them here, in the fossilized version of Ye Olde NarniaWeb. May thou glimpseth the joy- and cappuccino-filled life that the spoiler-free lead.

*Quickly retreats before the buffet starts messing with her mind*

[daughter of the King]

You forgot the brownies, daughter of the King, my fellow minion! (Does anyone call you "dot"? )

Ah, but I did not forget them! Brownies are best consumed after dinner, fresh out of the oven with a cold glass of milk while reading about the latest spoilers. Ice cream, however, is fit to be devoured (like the great spoilers we seek) at any time. Yes, many people, spoiled or not, call me dot. You may as well, fellow minion. I take it you are also a visitor of the Town Square?

I don't mind his face so much as I mind his lack of forelegs. Instead of forelegs, he has arms. Arms of all things! No proper dragon has arms.

My thanks to you, Rose-Tree Dryad, for by providing me with the location of the records of the Monastery I was better equipped to find records of the Spoiled Rotten Empire.

As for the cappuccino, coffee of any kind sends me into a caffeine high. I might be better able to chase down all spoilers that may appear after having such a drink, but it wouldn't be very helpful when I am trying to do my homework.

This is insanely fun.

[Lady Galadriel]

Thank you for explaining, starkat.

Methinks the Pilgrims of the Middle Way might be where I prefereth to reside as well, but any attempt on the part of mine own to resist anything labeled *Spoilers* seems to always resulteth in failure. Thus, I shalt make myself comfy here in the Lair through the remaining duration of our wait, until the tenth of December.

My thanks to you, Rose-Tree Dryad, for by providing me with the location of the records of the Monastery I was better equipped to find records of the Spoiled Rotten Empire.

The same thought occurreth here, but I was not able to find those records. Wouldst someone enlighten me on exactly how to find them?

And with that said...

The aforesaid brown dragon does not resemble a dragon at all. This spoiler greatly displeases me.

It displeases me as well. But what bothers me even more is that I cannot figure out what it does resemble. When my younger sister saw it she said it looked like a goat. I don't think it looks like a goat, but it most certainly does not look like a dragon.

Dragon Eustace isn't at all like I imagined he would be (Not only did I think he would be much larger, there's just something about him that doesn't look right). Perhaps his size is due to the filmmakers wanting him to be smaller than the Sea Serpent.

[wolfloversk]

Ah, Spoilers. Or should it be AHH! Spoilers?! I am a wolf who knows not where she stands. Spoilers make my mouth water, but there have been so many conflicting spoilers as of late! Does Caspian call them High King and Queen or just King and Queen? Is the WW behind the DI or the DI behind the WW? Does Eustace become a human again in a flash of light, or with his skin torn by Aslan? What is the point of spoilers when one goes at war with another- it's sensless I tell you, sensless! And yet they maybe the only thing holding my sanity together 'til December 10. But what shall I do if a whole transcript is posted when it is released? Alas I cannot see the movie, until the week that follows (I am stuck, perhaps emprisoned, in college until that day, when Christmas break begins.) Dare I venture into this dark realm, shall I stay in the monestary, or must I adhere to the middle road, venturing somewhere between both?

[Bookwyrm]

Mighteth this be a tradition, which commenceth upon the approaching arrival of each Narnia movie? I am not sure.

Yes, this is one of our eldest tradtions, the great and terrible Spoiler Wars in the days leading up to the Day of Days when the movie premieres.

What is this madness? Minions speaking the dreadful dialect of the Monastery? Now this just will not do.

BAH! Impudent Monastery members sneaking past our Dalek guards and across the moat filled with hydrochloric acid? I shall have to rig up a few death rays at this rate. But it does do my little shriveled up heart good to witness minions relaxing on the comfy chairs and partaking from the overflowing bounty that is the Join the League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds Because We Have Half the World's Food Supply All-You-Can-Eat Buffet!

[Ithilwen]

The aforesaid brown dragon does not resemble a dragon at all. This spoiler greatly displeases me.

Hmmm... it looks like Dragon Eustace looks like everything but a dragon. So far, to NarniaWebbers, he has looked like a goat, a cow, and probably many more animals to come. So he looks like a goat/cow (with arms). Let me add yet another type of animal our dear "dragon" resembles --

The pixar grasshoppers on A Bug's life. Especially on the poster when Dragon Eustace has his face looking right at you. It is really the same face as those grasshoppers...

Anyway, is there any blueberry pie at the buffet?


~Riella

[Glenstorm the Great]

*enjoys a little of the ice cream*

hmm tis quite pleasant here, I know not why any sane NarniaWebber would choose to reside anywhere else until that magnificent day, December 10th.

May we discuss spoilers here at will? If so, I dearly hope we are allowed to be negative .

wolf: give in to the temptation, darling. This fortress can give you an All-You-Can Eat- Buffet and so much more

Riella: ah I must agree that Dragon Eustace looks very much like the grasshoppers from A Bug's Life. Might have something to do with the coloring

[Ithilwen]

Riella: ah I must agree that Dragon Eustace looks very much like the grasshoppers from A Bug's Life. Might have something to do with the coloring

Yeah... I think it has something to do with the face shape too -- kind of a squarish jaw. The expression too, I think. So basically everything, lol.

We should talk about some really Spoily-spoilers. Something that would make anyone from the monastary cringe if they saw it...

... I bet many of them have already seen Dragon Eustace... We need to talk about something more drastic... Hmm... What should it be?

The fact that Lucy was kidnapped by Dufflepuds, instead of going by her own will? The fact that the Dark Island is taking over the universe?! The fact that Gael has fallen in love with Reepicheep!?

Okay, so I made that last one up. But you gotta admit, that would be a very spoilery-spoiler...


~Riella

[FencerforJesus]

Beware, vile Spoiled Rotten Empire. I, the High Knight of the Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery, shalt not allow ye to claim all those who seek to be of pure mind before the viewing of the glorious movie. I fear not thy Dalek guards or thy moat of hydrolic acid. And as for Death Rays, mine sword and shield shalt prevail still. I shalt defend those who seek the peace of mind from thy gluttony upon the Spoiler. For we knoweth that thou shalt not enjoyeth the movie upon its fabled release with the knowledge of thine Spoilers as thou would without. And I shalt rescue those who hath blindly fallen victim to thine Spoilers.

The Monastery is open to all who seeketh to abstain from one or more type of Spoiler, but we requireth not that thou abstaineth from every type of Spoiler. But ye of the Spoiled Rotten, beware shouldst you venture beyond thine borders. For though the Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery seeketh to be in peaceful meditation in anticipation of the release of the glorious film, we art also well trained warriors. Assail our hallowed walls if thou dareth, but ye shalt do so at thine own peril.