Corrupt a Wish

[Courtenay]

Right, now animals can talk and you can hear them constantly declaring what they think of humans... none of which is very nice.

I wish I could attend a great Narnian feast!

[Ryadian]

Ta-da, you attend a great Narnian Feast! However, by "attend", I mean you are serving at the feast, not partaking, and it's a feast that the White Witch is throwing. For herself.

I wish weekends were longer.

[Courtenay]

Right, weekends are now longer... by about three minutes.

I wish I could teleport instantly between the UK and Australia (and vice versa) to save time and airfares.

[waggawerewolf27]

Now wouldn't that be dandy for you to teleport between UK & Australia indeed! The trouble is, that teleporting (or the magical HP equivalent of apparating & disapparating) over such long distances might cause you to be splinched with bits of you left behind either in Australia or UK.

I wish I could have a new brain that actually remembers things other than the stupid "happily ever after type" North-Pole type Christmas carol that is stuck on replay in my head.

[King_Erlian]

You have a new brain which remembers things. Right now you're remembering that school bully who made your life a misery when you were 12.

I wish I had a real suit of armour.

[waggawerewolf27]

Yes a real suit of armour would be nice. It would shield you from all sorts of things, especially rain. But it is going to be a truly conspicuous & uncomfortable wear, driving a car, riding a bus or train, keeping one's balance in the rain, besides needing help to change out of it, when the metal gets rusty from the rain....

I wish that the rain we were expected to have last Monday will actually arrive.

[Courtenay]

The rain you were expected to have last Monday will indeed actually arrive... some time in August.

I wish I could ride on Aslan, like Lucy and Susan did!

[Arwen_Daeneri31]

You can but its a theme park ride and not the real Aslan.

I wish I could travel between worlds like in The Magician's Nephew.

[Courtenay]

Right, you can now travel between worlds just like in The Magician's Nephew, via the Wood Between the Worlds... only (unlike Digory and Polly) you forgot to mark which pool you first came out from, which means you may just have to make a LOT of visits to other worlds before you find the way back to your own.

I wish I could control the weather.

[Ryadian]

Presto, you now control the weather! However, everyone now knows about this power of yours and makes increasingly complicated demands of you every day.

I wish I didn't have writer's block.

[mm1991]

You no longer have writer's block! But you find you can only muster the motivation to write for a 20-second time frame per week, so it takes you months to even write a single page!

I wish I had an unlimited supply of Diet Coke.

[Cleander]

Congratulations, you now have unlimited Diet Coke... from 1983. Enjoy. If you can.


I wish I had a full-size catapult!

[Ryadian]

As you wish! However, it's a very old catapult, and it doesn't function and is barely staying together.

I wish meals didn't take significantly longer to prepare than to eat.

[waggawerewolf27]

Ta Da! You have your wish. A plethora of various food suppliers from Pizza Hut, to Meals on Wheels, will supply your every need. But, unfortunately, having been obliged to "self-isolate", due to local worries about communicable diseases, you will, over time, find the range of such self suppliers becoming, over time, increasingly boring & unappetizing.

I wish that for the rest of the year, we have plenty of rain.

[mm1991]

Voila! Rain, rain, rain! But oh no - it's raining frogs. Not only does this not help the land, but now you have an epic frog infestation like the world has never seen! You start going crazy from the eternal "ribbit" sound that never goes a way....

I wish my feet stopped getting so cold at night!

[King_Erlian]

Your feet no longer get so cold at night. But the rest of you gets excessively hot during the day.

I wish I could learn to play the saxophone in three months.