Corrupt a Wish

[Movie Aristotle]

Well now you can! For only 10 easy payments of $29.99 this new doohickey is yours!

I wish that I had more space to store things.

[Courtenay]

You now have an infinite storage space... unfortunately it exists in another dimension and you can only access it once every 17 1/2 years when all the cosmic energies are perfectly aligned.

I wish I could have a year free with an unlimited budget for travelling the world!

[Wunderkind_Lucy]

You have a year free with an unlimited budget for travelling the world, but the currency you've been given is no longer usable.

I wish could have my own personal plane so that I could fly wherever I wanted.

~Wunder

[Ryadian]

And like that, the plane is yours! However, the plane only moves about as quickly as it would take you to walk.

I wish I'd never be short of sleep but without being late for things.

[Cleander]

You never lose any sleep, nor are you ever late- you can't stop sleeping, and thus you will never have any time to arrange engagements of any kind for which you could be late.


I wish I could breathe fire.

[waggawerewolf27]

Oh dear, you can breathe fire, but please keep it to yourself, because even in your own area you won't be welcome anywhere there are droughts & fire hazard warnings.

I wish our drought would end soon.

[Wunderkind_Lucy]

Your drought has ended with a monsoon which has swept away any plants and trees that were left.

(In all seriousness, I'm praying that your drought will end soon.)

I wish the job-searching process wasn't so hard.

~Wunder

[waggawerewolf27]

Hooray, your wish has been granted. Job search suddenly becomes much easier for you, but that is only because there are often good reasons why such jobs are the only ones available.

I wish spectacles were manufactured with "find me" gadgets that whistle.

[Courtenay]

Your spectacles now have a "find me" gadget that whistles... unfortunately, it keeps malfunctioning and going off while you're wearing the spectacles, so people around you think you're whistling at them.

I wish there could be world peace and no more wars ever.

[King_Erlian]

There is now world peace and no more wars ever, but now that people have forgotten how to fight, aliens take over the world in a matter of minutes. (Idea pinched from the Simpsons!)

I wish that doctors had a machine that could instantly tell exactly what was the matter with me.

[Courtenay]

Your doctor now has a machine that can instantly tell exactly what's the matter with you. Unfortunately it doesn't confine itself to what's the matter with your health, but also tells you exactly what's the matter with your dress sense, your IQ, your political opinions, your tastes in books / films / music / romantic partner / etc....

I wish I could sail on the Dawn Treader!

[ValiantArcher]

You can, but it's a small fishing boat up north, not the Narnian craft.

I wish I had a dog.

[Arwen_Daeneri31]

You now have a dog but only for a day as someone asked you to watch it for them.

I wish I had the One Ring.

[Wunderkind_Lucy]

You have the One Ring, but like Frodo, you have no choice but to take the perilous journey to take the One Ring to the fires of Mount Doom.

I wish I had gotten the flu shot. It's no fun being sick.

~Wunder

[Courtenay]

You did get the flu shot, but unfortunately they used the wrong serum and you turned into a dragon instead. (Don't worry, I'm sure Aslan will be along soon to un-dragon you...)

I wish I could have less work and more holidays (and still afford to live, of course).

[waggawerewolf27]

Sorry, your wish is so self-evident it is almost an unkindness to respond. Yes you have less work & more holidays, but only because the economy has gone bust & the so-called "holiday" is full of futile job applications, which are no fun at all, even when the occasional interview does arise.

I wish that the electricity bill to arrive next month will be more affordable.