Fortunately/Unfortunately

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

Unfortunately, it's jammed.

[aileth]

Fortunately, there's plenty of coconut oil to grease it.

[waggawerewolf27]

Unfortunately there aren't any bullets available to use in a Gatling gun.

[Ryadian]

Fortunately, rumors about zombies being flesh-eating have been grossly exaggerated, and they're willing to leave you alone if you leave them alone.

[DiGoRyKiRkE]

Unfortunately, they consider your mere presence aggravating enough to try to eat you.

[Ryadian]

Fortunately, a ship stops to pick up supplies, and you're able to convince them to take you aboard.

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

Unfortunately, it's a pirate ship and it turns out that you've been shanghaied.

[Ryadian]

Fortunately, the next time the pirates dock, they get into arguments amongst themselves, giving you the opportunity to escape!

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

Unfortunately, you get trapped in a fishing net as you make your escape.

[Ryadian]

Fortunately, the pirates decide you're just too much work and decide to let you go.

[waggawerewolf27]

Unfortunately they have marooned you on a remote uninhabited island off the coast of Chile and it will take years for you to be rescued.

[King_Erlian]

Fortunately, the Pirate Captain feels guilty about marooning you, turns the ship around and rescues you, and makes you an honorary member of the pirate crew.

[Ryadian]

Unfortunately, shortly after this, the pirate ship is caught by the authorities, and you're all arrested.

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

Fortunately, you fell off the ship right before the authorities took possession of it and found yourself in the company of a group of nice dolphins.

[Quinlin]

Unfortunately, land is miles away, you're tiring quickly from trying to stay afloat, and the dolphins, though lovely soon swim away leaving you alone in the middle of a vast sea.

[Ryadian]

Fortunately, you're picked up by a passing boat, which takes you safely back to land.