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He complained that junk in backyard fires damage the environment.

New story time. Here's a chance to be REALLY creative

http://www.pawnation.com/2012/12/13/wom ... d%3D245260

Good intentions took a wild turn when a concerned driver met a surprising animal. According to WMTW, a Maine woman accidentally hit a bobcat. After the accident, she inspected the animal and thought it was a severely injured cat. Wanting to save the feline, the woman placed the stricken animal in her car to take it to the vet. The wild cat regained consciousness while the woman was driving to the vet's office. It was at this point that the driver realized her passenger was not a normal kitty cat and pulled over. The woman exited the car, as did the bobcat, who followed her and then hid under the vehicle.

You weren't kidding there Digs...

Good intentions took a wild turn when a concerned feline met a surprising creature. According to WMTW, a Maine-coon accidentally hit a woman. After the accident, she inspected the human and thought it was a severely injured bigfoot. Wanting to save the hominid, the cat placed the stricken creature in her car to take it to the vet. The woman regained consciousness while the cat was driving to the vet's office. It was at this point that the driver realized her passenger was not a normal bigfoot and pulled over. The cat exited the car, as did the woman, who followed her and then hid under the vehicle.

Good intentions took a wild turn when a concerned Yeti met a surprising creature. According to WMTW, a Yeti visiting Maine accidentally hit a woman. After the accident, he inspected the human and thought it was a severely injured, small, and bald Bigfoot. Wanting to save its distant cousin, the yeti placed the stricken creature in his car to take it to Area 51. The woman regained consciousness when the yeti reached Michigan. It was at this point that the driver realized his passenger was not a Bigfoot and pulled over. The yeti exited the car and grabbed a freeze-ray from the trunk and then tried to stop the woman who had climbed out and was running for the hills. He missed so instead he threw the car at her trapping her under the vehicle.

Good intentions took a wild turn when a concerned Bigfoot met a surprising creature. According to FAKENEWS, a Bigfoot visiting Spain accidentally hit a dog. After the accident, he inspected the dog and thought it was a severely injured, small, and strangely-colored Yeti. Wanting to save its distant cousin, the Bigfoot placed the stricken creature in his monster truck to take it to it's home. The dog regained consciousness when the Bigfoot reached Portugal. It was at this point that the driver realized his passenger was not a Yeti and pulled over. The Bigfoot exited the monster truck and grabbed a giant anvil from the trunk of a nearby elephant and then tried to stop the dog who had climbed out and was running for the cliffs. He tried throwing the anvil and missed, so instead he threw the monster truck at the dog.

Good intentions took a bad turn when a concerned Bigfoot accidentally hit a dog. He inspected the creature and thought it was a baby Loch Ness Moster. After determining that the creature wasn't severely injured he decided he wanted to save it from further incidents by relocating it back to Scotland. When the dog regained consciousness the bigfoot pulled over and released him into the water, but the poor pooch didn't know how to swim

Bad intentions took a good turn when a concerned Loch Ness Monster accidentally hit a hotdog. He inspected the creature and thought it was a baby Bigfoot. After determining that the creature wasn't severely injured he decided he wanted to save it from further incidents by relocating it back to Scotland on a UFO. When the dog regained consciousness the Loch Ness Monster pulled over and released her into the water, but the poor pooch didn't know how to swim without floaties

Authorities in Scotland report that the Loch Ness monster has been sited in it's typical Scotland locale. Nessie was spotted alongside the American Sasquatch. The two mythical creatures were reported to go out to lunch for hot dogs. The Scottish Vegetarian Society intervened, and released the hot dogs back into the wild.

Authorities in Scotland report that the Loch Ness monster has been sited in it's typical Scotland locale. Nessie was spotted alongside the Narnian Sea Serpent. The Narnian See Searpent was apparently discussing techniques for boat chasing with Nessie. The two mythical creatures were reported to go out to lunch for lettuce. The Scottish Carnivore Society intervened, and released the lettuce back into the wild and provided a boatload of hot dogs so the monsters could practice their boat chasing techniques and get a healthy meal.

Authorities in Scotland report that the Loch Ness monster has been sited in it's typical Scotland locale. Nessie was spotted alongside 500,000 ninjas. The ninjas were apparently learning techniques for swimming faster with Nessie. The mythical creature was reported to go out to lunch for lettuce. The Scottish Carnivore Society intervened, and released the lettuce back into the wild and provided a boatload of hot dogs so the monster could could teach it's class techniques for swimming faster and get a healthy meal.

Authorities in Israel report that the Loch Ness monster has been sighted in the Mediterranean off the Jewish coast. Nessie was spotted alongside two Goldfish. The Goldfish were apparently teaching Nessie how to make a intercontinental ballistic missiles. The mythical creatures' motives are still unknown. But she is reported to frequent local markets in search of lettuce. Therefore, Nessie has often been spotted in produce sections. If you have any information that leads to the direct arrest of this terrorist, the government will award a two million dollar bounty to you. However, do not approach the Nessie, she is always heavily armed and extremely dangerous. I repeat, extremely dangerous.

Authorities in South Dakota report that the Loch Ness monster has been sighted off the coast. Nessie was spotted alongside two Goldfish. The Goldfish were apparently teaching Nessie how to make a intercontinental ballistic missiles. Spies have reported that mythical creature intends to threaten the capital unless all the nation's lettuce is turned over to her. A bounty of $2,000,000 has been offered for her capture. The best way to neutralize her is to do the Hoky Poky.

Authorities in North Dakota have reported that the Loch Ness monster was spotted the coast. Nessie was being held captive by two Goldfish. The Goldfish were apparently trying to extract information on the construction of intergalactic missiles. Spies have reported that the mythical creature will only hand over the information if all the capital's lettuce is handed over to her. A ransom of 2,000,000 Pesos has been offered by the Goldfish. They best way to survive an intergalactic missile attack is to do the Hoky Poky.

Authorities in the Galactic Sector #2134823.1 have reported that the Loch Ness Monster was spotted out of her natural range. Nessie was being held captive by two Goldfish. The Goldfish were apparently trying to extract information on the construction of an inter-dimensional Time and Space portal. Spies have reported that the mythical creature will only hand over the information if all the universes' lettuce is handed over to her. A ransom of 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Galactic Credits has been offered by the Goldfish. The best way to pass the... Time, while going through a time portal is to do the Chicken Dance.

Authorities in the Galactic Sector #1337133713371337 have reported that the Loch Ness Monster was spotted out of his natural range. Nessie was being held captive by 50 Cats. The Cats are apparently trying to destroy everything in existence and are using Nessie as a power source for a really powerful weapon. Spies have reported that the mythical creature will only work as a power source if all the universes' lettuce is fed to her. A ransom of 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Galactic Credits has been offered by the Cats. Authorities in the Galactic Sector #1337133713371337 are offering a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Galactic Credit reward for anyone who can free Nessie from the Cats and a 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Galactic Credit reward for anyone who can capture the Cats. The best way to pass the time while being destroyed with a powerful weapon is to do the Chicken Dance while doing the Hokey-Pokey (don't ask me how, I don't know myself).

Scientists studying Galactic Sector #1337133713371337 have released reports saying their telescopes have taken pictures of the Loch Ness Monster floating through space near a constellation known as "The Cats". No one is sure yet how the creature has survived, but some suspect that it may be feeding off of lettuce and old missile fuel which had also been released into space. Experts are advising everyone to do the Chicken Dance while doing the Hokey-Pokey. "If anyone wants to know how to do this," one of the scientists stated, "ask me, because I know."


~Riella