The Rent-A-Mod Agency for Distressed Moderators!

[ValiantArcher]

This is an official announcement from the Rent-A-Mod Agency.

It appears that the reports of the demise of your old mods may have been slightly exaggerated. If the old mods are still alive, they would be kept under lock and key, and only Rent-A-Mod has the key. Thus, bribery (especially in the form of cereal) is expected.

Bribes accepted here at all times. Mr Mod remains in command until further notice or his demise.

[The Rose-Tree Dryad]

If you have no use for cheese or ranch dressing, 42, you cannot possibly have any need for money, shiny objects, or miniature llamas.

*Hops in her chartered plane, and begins flying in grid patterns over the yawning, lonely ocean, her sharp eyes scanning the waves like a hawk*

[Bookwyrm]

Of course I need money. How else would I fund my lavish lifestyle of gold-plated robot appendages and designer motor oil?

[Silver the Wanderer]

I have plenty of Lucky Charms, Mod 14! Do you prefer the little crispy pieces or the marshmallows?

What supplies can I bring for the search and rescue party?

[MountainFireflower]

*whispers* no, dear dryad. you see, 42 has a secret. he has a machine that converts cheese curls & ranch dressing into money. he likes to steal my prized possessions (cheese curls & ranch dressing) to use in his converter. he must be stopped!

Edit: GOLD, i prefer marshmallows and crunchy pieces in equal amounts, respectively.

[Meltintalle]

As a reputable member of the Rent-A-Mod agency, I must protest.

Everyone telling you that Rent-A-Mod has somehow derailed/confined/and or obliterated the former mods are impostors/squirrels/and or agents of mass hysteria.

How could we maintain a sterling reputation if we went around taking over forums all the time and lay around all day cackling about evil plans?

*shakes head*

[Lady Arwen]

19, that was up until we found a good forum to conquer. With this forum conquered, we can brain-wash the members, assimilate them, and then go out and assimilate all the worlds into our hive. All the original Mod, of course, controlling.

[Princess Anna]

You have faulty logic. Our Benevolent Dictator handpicked us to enforce his rules. He would never grow tired of us. He cares about us, we're his family. What you say, goes against the meaning of "Benevolent".

But, if you all insist on the "fact" that my friends are gone, Tirian is a liar, and you are in charge... then I can't stop the consequences. And that is this:

NO MORE MISS NICE GIRL! You've crossed a line, and cannot return from it...

[screamed] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[sung] Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen

Let their flesh not be torn, let their blood leave no stain.
Though they beat them, let them feel no pain.
May their bones never break, and however they try
to destroy them, let them never die...
Let them never die...

Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka: eleka:

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

What good is this chanting?
I don't even know what I'm reading! I don't even know what trick I ought to try.
Guys, where are you? Already dead, or bleeding?
One more disaster I can add to my generous supply?

No good deed goes unpunished. No act of charity goes unresented.
No good deed goes unpunished, that's my new creed.
My road of good intentions led where such roads always lead.
No good deed... goes unpunished!

*is surrounded by quickly flashing images of my friends*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (scream makes the images vanish)

One question haunts and hurts, too much.
Too much to mention:
Was I really seeking good? Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are when looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are, maybe that's the reason why...

No good deed goes unpunished!
All helpful urges should be circumvented.
No good deed goes unpunished. Sure, I meant well -
well, look at what well-meant did!
Alright, enough - so be it. SO BE IT THEN!

Let all NarniaWeb be agreed:
I'm wicked through and through;
since I can not succeed, my friends, in saving you!
I promise no good deed, will I attempt to do again! Ever again!
No good deed will I do again!

*thanks to Wicked's lyrics for letting me borrow most of them*

[Bookwyrm]

What sterling reputation? The name of the agency is Rent-a-Mod. That just screams "Get your cheap, sociopathic moderators with delusions of world domination here!" to the whole wide world.

[Meltintalle]

Mr. Mod, I don't believe you are a properly accredited member of the agency. All Rent-A-Mods are known by numbers because it's easier to spell.

Uh... 42? Did you not get a paycheck yet? I think the members here will find that we're worth every penny paid us!

[Bookwyrm]

I have already received several paychecks. I used my superior robotic abilities to reroute several moderators' direct deposits to my bank account. Soon I will have enough money for the diamond encrusted chest piece with the removable mithril chainmail bikini top.

[Silver the Wanderer]

Oh PA, that was beautiful. *wipes tears out of eyes* At least you're still here. Although, since the Rent-A-Mod takeover is eminent, I believe we'll all have to appease them with cereal offerings...

[stardf29]

I am a fairy! I am immortal! You may kill me all you want, but I'll just keep coming back to life and back for more! That is why I am the strongest!

[Lady of the Shallot]

Attention, Attention! I believe I have determined how to solve this problem! Its quite simple. Use my mod-to-cereal machine! Simply take a mod you don't like, insert them here, and they come out over here as freshly boxed cereal! An example would be here.

[Lady Arwen]

Spammer....that's just weird.

ANYWAY, 19, per my marriage this morning, I had to change my name. Those of us special enough to marry get extra perks, like, no numbers.

[Meltintalle]

I think that's very unprofessional of you, Mr Mod, mixing your private affairs and work.

I thought moderators were supposed to set a good example!

Congratulations, though! I'm sure you and the missus will be very happy. I wish you the very best. *tears up*