Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

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Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby FencerforJesus » Oct 15, 2010 8:38 am

Alas, the vile creatures of the Spoiled Rotten Empire hath revered thine ugly heads. But fear ye not. I, FencerforJesus shalt defend ye from such horrendous things. Mine sword is quick and accurate and I shalt slay such vile temptations such as Major Plot Spoilers, Viewings of Clips not released on the Official VDT Trailer, The Listinging of the Official VDT Soundtrack prior to the release of the glorious film, and many more. For thou standeth before the High Knight of the Spoiler Free Monastery.

Our beloved Most High Reverend Dr. Elwin Ransom hast spent many long days in meditation and shalt welcome all whom seeketh to remain of a pure mind in the preparation of the viewing of the movie. Here within the Monastery, thou shalt remain protected in the mind of that which shalt make the viewing of VDT spoiled. Though the Evil Empire of the Spoiled Rotten shalt make frequent attacks and attempteth to lay temptation before thee, though shalt not be alone. For as the eagle standeth at the peak of the mountain, openeth its wings, and alloweth the storm to attack, so shalt ye withstand the attacks of the Spoiled Rotten. For ye knoweth the eagle is the strongest bird of all, and ye shalt come out of thine own theater with greater pleasure than those of the Spoiled Rotten who taint thier minds with thine own weapons of the Spoiler.

Let not the Spoiled Rotten decieve thee. For though this place is a refuge for thee from the Spoiler, thou art not required to abstain from every type of Spoiler. If though seekth to abstain from one particular Spoiler or genre of Spoiler, then thou art welcome. Come and make your vow public so thou mayest stand before ye brethren with pride. If thou seeketh to abstain from one Spoiler or many, thou art welcome. But if thou hast not committed a vow from one or more Spoilers, whilst thou art within these hallowed walls, we ask that thou shalt not reveal said Spoilers for the sake of those that hath made vows to abstain from said Spoilers.

Thou must not hath abstained from every type of Spoiler from the green light of the film to the release to become one of the Order. We hath welcomed some who was once an enemy, once allied with the Spoiled Rotten Empire, but hath repented of thier ways. The Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery doth not take ones past into mind. All thou needeth to do is make thine vow from thist time forth. What is in the past is in the past. We of the Order do not inquire of it, nor condemn ye for it.

The Order of the Spoiled Free Monastery shalt also welcome those who art wanderers, the Pilgrims of the Middle Way. For though they wander, they are not lost. The Pilgrims hath been tainted by some Spoilers, but though knoweth the light by abstaining from some Spoilers. From time to time, they seeketh refuge within our hallowed walls when the Spoiled Rotten invade our territory. But as with those who hath made a vow for one Spoiler but not another, we humbly request ye Pilgrims of the Middle Way who seeketh temporary shelter to not posteth the Spoilers thou hast taken in.

So thou art welcome to enter the hallowed walls of the Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery. Thou shalt short recieve a glorious welcome from our beloved Most High Reverend, Dr. Elwin Ransom. May peace dwell within ye.
Be watching for the release of my spiritual warfare novel under a new title: "Call to Arms" by OakTara Publishing. A sequel (title TBD) will shortly follow.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby starkat » Oct 15, 2010 9:13 am

Greetings High Knight from the Pilgrims of the Middle Way! Tis good to see your doors open once again! If any of your number visit our camp, rest assured that any spoilers will be enclosed in spoiler boxes so to prevent those who wish not to see from viewing them. So feel free to visit any time!
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby sweeetlilgurlie » Oct 15, 2010 9:18 am

Fie upon thee, all spoiler-ed people! I myself refuse to spoil mine eyes with Spoilered Cereal Boxes, Tissues, and/or Toilet Paper! (It was an option on the poll for PC, I promise!)

I seek refuge here, amongst the quiet and peaceful walls of our greatest monastery. Thou art most kind to open the thread at last.

Alas and alack, I nearly succumbed to temptation and joined the side of the lost and forsaken "spoiled rotten" crew. I must admit, forsooth, It was the detestableness of their name, which containeth the words "spoiled" and "rotten" which repelled me and inspired me to seek shelter within these hallowed walls. I detest and abhor the words I have herein mentioned. They speakest not of the clean quality of the members therein, methinks! :P

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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby FencerforJesus » Oct 15, 2010 9:36 am

Welcome, sweeetlilgurlie, Thou hast seen the light and understood that though the Spoiled Rotten tempeth us with much sweets and goodies, even thier own name revealeth thier evil plans. Their sweets are no more than Turkish Delight. They shalt make ye desire more and more and before thou knowest thou shalt have indulged to drunkeness and thou shalt not be able to enjoyeth the movie in its pureth form. I congratulate thee for recognizing the vile temptation of the Spoiled Rotten and from abstaining from joining thier ranks. Thou art most welcome here and thou shalt enjoy peace here as thou prepareth to enjoy the movie with a pure mind.
Be watching for the release of my spiritual warfare novel under a new title: "Call to Arms" by OakTara Publishing. A sequel (title TBD) will shortly follow.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby The Rose-Tree Dryad » Oct 15, 2010 9:45 am

Ah, most beauteous day! The doors of the Monastery hath opened! :D

I enter with no small amount of shame, for I fear I hath been spoiled greatly by the mega spoilers of which hath recently caused a great stir in this most hallowed forum. For even if ye resist the temptation of the news articles themselves, ye may very well be just as spoiled if you are not prudent in choosing which posts ye shall read. And t'was in that light in which I erred. x_x

But now that I may seek refuge within the sacred halls of this most blessed sanctum, I intendeth to shield mine eyes from any more major spoilers which shall be released, particularly in the form of extended clips, soundtrack music, and super trailer, and any other releases which I feel are detestable and would be wise to guard my mind from. :D

I hath been looking forward to the joyous sight of the Monastery's doors flung wide for many months now, for even in times in which I was naught but a nameless passerby of this forum, I drew much pleasure from observing the goings-on. The mellifluous chanting and manner in which members of the Order speak 'tis very pleasing to mine ears, the courageous endeavors of the Questers most inspiring to mine heart, and verily, the life of the spoiler-free 'tis a noble and splendid one! With cappuccino! :ymapplause:
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby ChristProclamer » Oct 15, 2010 12:28 pm

Many thanks on this bountiful day, O High Knight, as the great doors are unbarred to the hallowed halls of the Monastery. Confesseth I, that once was I a pirate, now repented and falling with gratitude upon the sacred unspoilt floors of this thread.

Many, many thanks, O Fencer, for allowing all into this refuge of piety and sacrificial devotion. I ask of thee only, What took you so long?

I've been waiting forever for this thread.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby wisewoman » Oct 15, 2010 12:37 pm

Hail, thou fellow denizens of the Spoiler-Free Monastery! It is with joy I greet thee, my brethren, severed by many years and journeys which hath taken us in different directions and forums. I rejoice me that the Order lives, and that we who gather here now art still in our hearts given over to the love of Spoiler-free holiness.

Those who hath sinned by beholding sights (and sites) not lawful for humble devotees of the Spoiler-Free way, be thou assured of forgiveness within the Monastery's picturesquely aged walls. For lo, repentance shalt always accompany a true change of heart and thy deeds shalt prove thy desires. May holiness be thine.

Howsoever it may be, a rumor hath reached mine ears that our beloved Father (may he live forever) hath experienced a change of heart that hath caused him to enter into the realms of the Spoiled Rotten. And thus I warn thee all as I warn my own heart: be not hasty in the judging of any such act on the part of any who hath professed a love of Spoiler-Free ways. No doubt our Reverend Father hath reached this decision after much agony and travail and pacing and tearing out of hair in the dark watches of the night, sleepless in confusion while all other men dreamed. Let us be gracious toward him and all who have chosen the ways of Middle or even of Spoilerdom. For they are our fellow fans, after all.

And thus it is within my heart to tell thee of my own spoiler-free ways. For lo, I hath not watched any trailer at all; nor beheld images of the Treader of Dawn; nor hath I read any news stories (except those which I hath myself written and posted). And so it is that I have shielded mine eyes from the Beatific Vision.

But hark! Truth compels me to reveal unto thee why it is that my history art so pure of spoilers. Of a sooth, brethren, it is because I am filled with doubts and fears gnawing within, that the Beatific Vision shalt not be Beatific. Long did I weep after my viewing of the last vision, Prince Caspian, for it would seem that vile evildoers hadst infiltrated the script and left woeful carnage in their wake. Verily, it is because of this long sorrow I hath endured that I hath covered mine eyes from the gaud of spoilers, reviling the maul that was made aforetime and fearing to see mine fears confirmed.

And so I say unto thee, spoil thou me not for I hath held myself from all spoilers that I may not build expectations that shall be hopeless dashed and drowned and destroyed upon my first viewing, leaving me desolate.

Written this fifteenth day of the tenth month, in the year of our Lord 2010.

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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby FencerforJesus » Oct 15, 2010 12:48 pm

Our beloved Most High Reverend hath spent much more time in meditation than expected. I was waiting for him to open the doors himself, but I hath seen the attack of the Spoilers and I couldst not delay. For there wouldst be much banging on the doors, pleading for refuge. I, as well as our beloved Most High Reverend, wouldst be unable to meditate, nor enjoy our cappuchino drinks, whilst many innocent out there lay open to the vile corruption of the Spoiler. Had I not opened the doors, I would have not only violated my vows as a member of the Order, I wouldst have violated my vows as High Knight and Protector of the Order. I cannot explain to thee the absense of the Most High Reverend, but he shall appear before you at the appropriate time.
Be watching for the release of my spiritual warfare novel under a new title: "Call to Arms" by OakTara Publishing. A sequel (title TBD) will shortly follow.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby malkah » Oct 15, 2010 2:01 pm

Good greeting, and well met to my fellow courageous and noble spoiler-shunners! This is indeed a glorious day, for as I entered our fair forum, trembling to meet the twin foes of the Spoiler and the Spoiled, I beheld this wondrous haven of news-free peace! (And cappuccinos! :D )

I must confess that alas, I have innocently stumbled onto spoilers that I wouldst fain hath purged from my mind. (Beware, comrades, of clicking on one headline, only to discover thy traitorous mouse hath clicked on a different article entirely!) But now that I mayest hide mine eyes from all spoilerdom within this blessed refuge, I do solemnly vow to walk uprightly in the sacred way of spoiler righteousness.

For lo! as we wouldst not, let us hope, read a book's ending before the rest of the tale, why therefore wouldst we cheat ourselves of the wonder of beholding a film in which we knoweth not the story's twists and turns? Let us valiantly pursue the swiftly fading virtue of surprise! :ymapplause:
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby Djaq » Oct 15, 2010 3:51 pm

Greetings to my fellow unspoiled fans of these Chronicles! It delighteth me greatly to see thy faces in these hallowed halls! :D

I myself have not taken a vow of unspoilerishness in times past, but I do so now. I wast merely a bystander to the goings on of the Monastery before the other movie wast released to us, but now I joyously partake of these practices with thou and thine.
I beeth a newcomer to your haven, and I pray thee to be lenient with me. For, I am but a weary traveler seeking refuge from the Spoiled World in whence I live. My sister, which God hath blessed me with, is of the Spoiled Ones, and therefore, our communication beeth limited. It hast been difficult, but we are managing.
From henceforth, I vow to not read spoilerish news stories. It beeth impossible for me to abstain from viewing images and trailers, as I must guard the realm of Fan Art from evil. This beeth my choice, and I am anxious to share this journey with all who enter this blessed refuge.

Behold! I come bearing cookies. Not for use to lure or entice others to our way of life as is the practice of some, but for the wholesome refreshment of ourselves. They goeth well with cappuccino! :D

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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby ValiantArcher » Oct 15, 2010 4:55 pm

Greetings, ye fellow brethren and sistren! My heart indeed doth much rejoice to see the Monastery open once more, and myself able to once again take up the position of Archer of the Southern Walls.

For myself, I doth intend to withhold myself from all clips, extended trailers, news articles, discussions, and pictures related to the film, except where might be unavoidable in the execution of my modly duties. And even then, I shalt refrain as much as possible and bring the full sword and wrath required down upon those who tempt others to viewing spoilers by insufficient use of spoiler boxes.

I extendeth welcome to all those seeking refuge in these hallowed walls, and bid thee enjoy a cookie and a nice cup of warm beverage, whether it be tea, hot chocolate, hot cider, or a cappuccino.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby Ranger of Llangolenn » Oct 15, 2010 7:31 pm

I am joining ye this season! In a time long gone I was of the Spoiled Rotten ones. Nay more!
Being with such sullied knaves spoiled my expectations of Prince Caspian, and in the bitter end I 'twas not satisfied.
Nay-ver again! :P
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby Bookwyrm » Oct 16, 2010 2:28 am

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!! It is I, the Grand High Dark Overlord of the League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds, standing amidst you in your puny Monastery. And let me tell you, you people have terrible security. No scrambler field to keep me from teleporting in, not even a decent moat filled with acid. It's like a retro lair, but not in a good way. Anyway, I come to bring word of the glorious Join the League of Extraordinarily Spoiled Rotten Masterminds Because We Have Half the World's Food Supply All You Can Eat Buffet. I'd say that trumps the cappuccino machine. Also, we have comfy chairs. The comfy chair, in fact.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby FencerforJesus » Oct 16, 2010 4:50 am

Tis too late evil Dark Overlord. For I hath already invaded thy own castle and rescued some of thy victims of the Spoiler and brought them hence. And thy never noticed even with thy guards and thy moat fillid with acid. They concern me not. Nor doth your feeble thinking of installing death rays. Mine skills with the blade shalt prevail over ye and thy evil Spoilers. Ye boasteth about thy All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet. But let me ask ye, after ye have indulged on thy gluttonous Spoilers, wilt thou be able to get to the theater for the glorious viewing, let alone enjoy it? I fein to wonder.
Be watching for the release of my spiritual warfare novel under a new title: "Call to Arms" by OakTara Publishing. A sequel (title TBD) will shortly follow.
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby wisewoman » Oct 16, 2010 7:02 am

Get thee hence, thou foul Mastermind, and to the abyss prepared for thee.

How darest thou laugh at our security system? For lo, it is not our intent to keep malefactors out. We earnestly desire that such sinners shouldst come among us and see our love of Spoiler-Free ways. Mayhap such recreants may even come to a conviction of the evil of spoilers, and repent of such wickedness.

*waveth to those lately arrived, and partaketh of one of Djaq's cookies which art passing yummy*
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Re: Order of the Spoiler Free Monastery

Postby The Rose-Tree Dryad » Oct 16, 2010 9:17 am

Ah, but Overlord, ye hath never partaken the Monastery's special blend of harmonizing cappuccino, hast ye? Therefore ye cannot know if the gluttony of the ten thousand dish buffet holdeth a candle its wholesome and karmic delights. ;) It tickleth me greatly that those who art so allegedly enlightened know not the delectation of the holy cappuccino. I shouldst be very disposed to give mine own rendition of triumphant laughter, were it not for the fact that there art people meditating. :P

*Greets the newcomers and dunkeths one of Djaq's cookies in her cup of cappuccino* :D
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