The Book Lewis Didn't Want to Write! (April Fools)

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The Book Lewis Didn't Want to Write! (April Fools)

Postby Watziznehm » Apr 01, 2011 10:38 am

Hey, guys and gals, I just found this interview from the BBC. They did a documentary on the Book Chronicles of Narnia: The Book Lewis Didn't Want To Write! Their guest was Damion Benoit, an investigative journalist and author of the book. Here are the highlights!

Interviewer: So, Damion, firstly tell why you wrote the book.

Damion: That should be terribly obvious! I wrote it to expose Lewis as a fraud, someone who sugar coated the real story. Not that he's a bad man mind you. I have great respect for most of his work. However, in the case of Narnia he tried to be too nice and covered up the truth.

Interviewer: Does that mean you believe Narnia is real?

Damion: Anyone who doesn't believe that shouldn't be watching this documentary!

Interviewer: When you were interviewed in the United States, you made a very interesting quote saying, "I'm glad the filmmakers of The Chronicles aren't trying to sugar coat the truth as much as Lewis." How can you explain that?

Damion: I suppose you want me to start at the beginning?

Interviewer: Please do.

Damion: Actually, I stumbled upon the evidence quite by accident when I was preparing my historical article about the underground Nazi conspiracy to kill Winston Churchill in the late nineties. I traveled all over England collecting testimonies and data. You can imagine that this sometimes brought me to some queer places and some even more queer discoveries. In one place, an old remote house, I found in the attic some ancient coins and a tattered forties area journal. In the journal, I found many notes which seemed queer. Stuff like, "had dinner in the King's palace and danced with a lovely dryad;" or, "watched the King's daughter walk for the first time." All this was pretty unbelievable to me and I would have dismissed it at once, but for the coins. Looking them over, I couldn't distinguish what they were. Some of them had lions on them, others, trees.

I asked the old couple (who shall remain anonymous) about my discoveries. They looked rather uncomfortable. But, since I had caught them with the goods so to speak, and being rather honest folks, they told me a rather fantastic story.
That they had both been in Narnia and had been a first hand witness to a terrible tragedy.

Now, I remember reading about Narnia as a kid and had always loved those books. So far as could recall there wasn't much tragedy to speak of -- only "happily ever after stuff" for the most part.
Again, I was still skeptical. But, there was still the matter of the coins. So, I kept listening.

However, after they had stopped talking, their story was so unreal and, this was the jolting part, so against what Lewis wrote in his stories that I truly and completely disbelieved them. I thought that the coins had just been made for fun or some other stupid reason. However, as I left the house, I couldn't help but be puzzled that the old couple seemed relieved that I didn't believe them. After that, I completely forgot their ridiculous story for a time.

However, when the movie Prince Caspian came out into theaters, my memory was horribly reminded about their story, for the plot of Prince Caspian was much closer to that of the testimony of this couple than that of the book of Lewis.

Interviewer: How so?

Damion: The couple told me that they had come into Narnia just after the coronation of King Caspian. Aslan appeared to the couple and told them that their purpose was to be a witness of what really happened. Then, he dressed them up disguised as two noble children and took them to a house of a widowed Telmarine and gave them to her as children. From this vantage point they witnessed all of the terrible things which passed.

First, a day after the coronation, the King got married to his love, Queen Susan. All of the other Pevensie children left, but she stayed to be with him. The whole Narnian land rejoiced.

In a year, a baby girl was born to the queen. The happiness of Narnia seemed complete. Everyone, man and beast alike, flocked to pay homage to the little princess. To say that the princess was loved and petted was rather and understatement.

Anyway, the princess developed at a rather uncanny rate. In a year she was able to walk, talk, and run as most babies three times her age. Her personality was already clearly visible. The most notable of these are that she had an uncanny feisty spirit and a rather obsession with the color green.

Shortly after her first birthday, the King decides to go fight the giants on the Northern frontier. The Queen naturally wants to go with him, but he absolutely refuses. This puts Susan in a rather deplorable mood, but she soon decides to disobey him and go anyway.

Soon after the king leaves, she goes to the stable, mounts her horse and rides off with her baby towards the North.

This is where the story really gets strange. The couple told me that neither Susan nor the young princess were ever seen again.

The King, of course, put search after search out for them, but to no avail. To liven his mood, the dwarf Trumpkin wisely advises that he search for his lost lords and fulfill the pledge he had made on his coronation. A heart broken Caspian reluctantly agrees and sets out.

But, his trouble don't end there. On the voyage, him and his crew are forced to battle with a terrible green mist.

The last the couple remember is seeing Caspian come sailing home with his new bride from far off parts. Then, Aslan appeared to them and gave them the coins. "They are your proof," he said.

And that is that. That is what they told me, but I didn't believe them till I saw the movies. When I saw how strikingly similar the movies were with the stories, I just had to investigate. It turns out that a total of five couples have witnessed fantastical events that Lewis tried to cover up and all along the Narnian timeline too.

This book I have written illustrates in detail the conversations and evidence I have gathered from these people. Of the questions people probably have at the moment, it is all explained in the book.

And, one last note, bravo to the filmmakers of the stories. They actually found out what I did and are now bold enough to portray some of the the truth. It's not the complete truth, but kudos to all the people and Walden Media and Disney and Fox for having the cheek to reveal at least some of the truth.

Interviewer: Great, it's been enlightening talking to you. I just have one last question before you go. You mentioned that other people have also witnessed some shocking cover-ups in the history of Narnia. If so, did anything happen in Magician's Nephew that we should now about?

Damian: Well... er... just read the book.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but this interview was rather enlightening. Don't you think? :ymsmug:

~Watz B-)
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Re: The Book Lewis Didn't Want to Write!

Postby puddleglum32 » Apr 01, 2011 5:27 pm

Man I so wish this was real.
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Re: The Book Lewis Didn't Want to Write! (April Fools)

Postby starkat » Apr 02, 2011 5:35 am

Happy April Fools!
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