Re: EXTRA! EXTRA! DISASTER STRIKES! READ ALL ABOUT IT! EXTRA!
Posted: Apr 01, 2014 5:04 pm
BREAKING NEWS: DEATH TALLY RISES
NarniaWeb moderator Bookwyrm was found dead. He has been the lead suspect in the ongoing investigations since the untimely death of his sometime-sweetheart, sometime-mortal enemy, Lady Arwen. Bookwyrm, often known as Booky, was found floating face down in blue jello, having been stabbed in the back multiple times.
“This is quite the peculiar crime scene,” Sergeant Ifor Got said. “Stabbing and drowning people in blue jello were signatures of Bookwyrm. While we have not completely ruled out the thought that this might have been an effort to escape the evidence amounting against him, it is quite doubtful that he would stab himself in the back. While on first glance it does seem to be the work of The Wyrm, it is quite likely that someone else was trying to cover their own tracks.”
A note was found in one of Booky’s many half-finished manuscripts that read “I want to be stabbed at least one more time than Julius Caesar.” Forensic scriptologist Cali Grafist has confirmed that the note is an original, and not a forgery. Mulan Rouge, the lead cosmetologist in the Lipstick Cases, has her own theory.
“Both Lady Arwen and Bookwyrm’s deaths have similar elements that make me suspect that a vigilante might be responsible. Neither of the earlier murders attributed to the couple had any of their standard signatures, but that information was still being analyzed when her Ladyship passed. I’m afraid someone in the community took justice into their own hands, and that justice might have been misplaced.”
The stabbing has raised concerns in the community about how many murderers there might be floating around, and has, of course, prompted people to ask each other, “Have you heard about the stabbing?”
This is Boo Kay Bucket, reporting for DT News7.