Flash Fiction Writing Challenge - hosted by the Inn Between

Home of chat, writing, and role-play.

Moderators: stargazer, Lady Arwen, Ryadian

Flash Fiction Writing Challenge - hosted by the Inn Between

Postby Boo Kay Bucket » Feb 09, 2018 7:18 am

Welcome to the Inn Between! No reservations are needed, but I will expect payment in advance. -clink!- Thank you. While you enjoy your stay in my inn and in Ditto Town, please feel free to take part in the event that I have been coer - *ahem* - requested to host, during Ditto Town's reconstruction. May I introduce you to Ditto Town's first Flash Fiction Challenge!

Flash Fiction Challenges are designed to create very short, self-contained stories on a given theme or prompt, within a certain set of parameters. Once stories have been submitted, writers can provide each other with feedback.

This event is intended to be rather short, so fair warning, writers and commentators! This thread will close on March 5th, 2018 - and I will want my inn back. Please to be sure to be checked out by this date - and remember to keep your rooms clean! It is very difficult to keep things spic and span with no hands.

General Rules:
1. Keep in mind that this thread is specifically for authors to post finished pieces and receive feedback. It is not for roleplays.
2. For the same reasons, please refrain from discussing tangent topics or plotting in this thread.

Flash Fiction Rules:
1. Keep all posts rated “G” or “PG” for the sake of our younger members.
2. Your story must be longer than 10 words and shorter than 1000 words. All stories must be on the prompt given, and all stories must be given a title to differentiate from stories written by other authors.
3. Members may only post one story per prompt.
4. All characters must be characters you have invented yourself, not taken from other authors. This means fan fiction is not allowed. You can use your characters from other Ditto Town stories, or ones made up just for this thread.
5. Remember again to post the title of your story at the top.

Feedback Rules:
1. Always include the title of the story you are commenting on.
2. Remember to THINK—are your comments true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind?
3. Make your posts substantial. For example, if you want to say “Good job!” or “I really liked your story!” add some details (“I really liked your story because it highlighted the strong friendship between Cheddar the Chipmunk and his Talking Thimble without being overbearing and cheesy”).
4. Please keep in mind that all writers are at a different place in their writing journey. Thus, we ask that you focus on giving feedback, rather than editing pointers.

Without further ado, your prompt is as follows:

You are just finishing up a long day's work and getting ready to head home. As you put away the last of your things, you realize someone is standing behind you. You turn to see a young man.
"I'm terribly sorry to disturb you," he says, "but I believe I am your grandson."

Feel free to revise this prompt to fit your individual storytelling style by changing the tense or changing any pronouns necessary to fit your characters.

Happy Writing! And tips are greatly appreciated!

Boo Kay Bucket
Pay up or move out!
User avatar
Boo Kay Bucket
Ditto Town Host
Posts: 27
Joined: Jan 07, 2006

Re: Flash Fiction Writing Challenge - hosted by the Inn Between

Postby narnianerd » Feb 19, 2018 1:15 am


I was just finishing up a long day's work and was getting ready to head home. Today was the day I was going to do it, I just finished writing my note, folded it neatly and placed it on my workbench. I began to put away the last of my tools when realized that someone was standing behind me. I turned to see a young man.

"Hey boss-man, I don't mean to intrude," he said, "but I'm pretty sure that I am your great, great grandson."

It took a minute for my brain to process all the information that my senses were feeding to it. There wasn't one thing about what I was observing that had any logical explanation. The young man standing in my shop appeared to be in his late teens, his hair was shoulder length, blonde and curly at the end. His complexion was fair, his pale skin tone matched my own. The two of us could definitely have passed as brother. Then again, he was a random stranger who happened to be intruding into my already locked, supposedly secure garage. Suddenly, my instincts kicked in and it wasn't long before I had him backed up against the hardwood door, my forearm shoved deep into his throat.

"Woah dude, chill aight? I'm just a tourist brah! You can check my bags, all I’ve got with me is a camera and a couple pairs of socks! Jee’ze-Louise man, what's got you so wound up?”

I grunted an unintelligible response and then quickly performed a thorough pat-down. My findings confirmed his claims. The boy's choice in socks was a bit tacky for my taste, but his belongings were otherwise harmless, so I backed off. “What are you doing here?”

The kid huffed, smoothed out his jacket and shoved his hands deep down into the front pockets of his faded blue jeans, “I told you pops, I'm tourist.”

"That don't explain why you are in my shop, nor does it extrapolate at all on your claim.”

The kid laughed, “I’m a time traveler from the year two thousand, one hundred and sixty eight. Getting past a locked door is a literally a piece of cake, now the vastness of the space time continuum, that’s a whole other thing entirely.”

“Prove it then,” I challenged him, both fists closed tightly.

“You got anything to drink?” He asked, changing the topic of conversation entirely.


“Time travel man, it makes yah thirsty, doncha know?”

“You know what, screw it. There’s some root beer in the fridge I think. Go ahead and grab me one too, what’s your name anyways?”

“Jason, Jason Birmingham, my friends call me JB for short.” Replied the boy as he tossed me a can.

“Well I’m pretty sure you ain’t here to kill me, grab a seat man. So, lets say for now that you are my great, great grandson or whatever, why are you here?”

Jason plopped down hard onto my bench seat, “Whattya mean pops?”

"Don’t call me that. You know, I'm just saying that if I had access to a time travel machine and could go anywhere, see anything… I don’t reckon I’d go see my great, great grandpap. I’m not even sure if I remember his name, to be completely honest.”

“I’m not sure myself. All I know is that I’ve always come back here, on this date to see you. It’s been recorded history ever since and so here I am.”

I leaned back against the wall, “So, you literally have no idea?


That makes two of us, I thought angrily, his intrusion had disrupted my evening plans, fatal as they were. “So, what’s the future like kid?” I asked, deciding to play along. At the very least, this goofball made for a pretty nice distraction, providing me with some much needed entertainment on such a grim day.

“Eh, you know what? It ain’t all that it’s hopped up to be. You know how after every great war, some big-headed genius decides that it’ll be the one to end all wars? Well that never happens. There’s a war on again and it's interplanetary this time.”

“Anyone you know serving?”

“My dad’s a fighter pilot, a CW3 in the the 11th Armored Cav, based on Ceres. Oh, and my older brother is in the 82nd, just like you I think. They jump from space now, crazy huh?”

I grimaced, imagining the back and knee injuries that jumping from orbit must cause, “sounds like the Birmingham family to me kid. Maybe you ain’t all that crazy.”

“Wouldn’t go that far Pops, I am Birmingham after all. Insanity runs in the blood.”

“Fair point.”

"By the way, you get that ‘69 fixed up yet?”

“What, the AMX? Its uh, a work in progress at moment. And by in progress I mean, I don’t have the money or time to do anything too it, story of my life, actually Always running out of time.”

“You get to it eventually you know, it’s in a museum now, people come from all over the country, just to see it. You did a great job Pops.”

I thought back to the letter I had wrote earlier and nearly choked on my soda as a result. “Not possible," I stated as a matter of fact. But then, my curiosity got the best of me. "What color did I end up painting it?

“You went with the dark cherry and flat black racing stripes, it’s beautiful, honestly. It’s a work of art.”

I crunched my can, “yah know what kid?”


“Promise me this kid, when you make it back to whenever you are from, break that old girl out. Take her for a spin, burn some rubber, aight? That car doesn't belong in a museum.”

“Pops, ICE vehicles have been banned from use for nearly four decades.”

“Are you a man, or a mouse?”


“It’s something my Gram used to tell me.”

“Tell you what Pops, I’ll do my best.”

“Fair enough.” I replied as I turned to toss my crushed can in the trash. When I spun back around, the young man was gone, having vanished into the upcoming night. I shrugged, figuring that the whole conversation had been a trick of the mind, a last gasp effort at keeping the lights on before I shut the whole thing down. But then, when I went to retrieve my last letter, it was gone, and in it's place laid picture.

you had me at meah
User avatar
NarniaWeb Fanatic
Assisstant Lord of the Little Ponies
Posts: 3893
Joined: Mar 28, 2008
Location: No-whereville
Gender: Male

Re: Flash Fiction Writing Challenge - hosted by the Inn Between

Postby Lady Arwen » Feb 21, 2018 1:52 pm

What Comes Knocking

“Some kid wants to see you,” Janine said. “Were you expecting anyone?”
I looked at her over my glasses.
“I have to finish reviewing this case. I’ve no time for visitors.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll show him out. By the way, the sun has set. You could open the blinds.”
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”
“I’m going to close up the office. Unless you want some company this evening?”
“Thanks, but I’m afraid this will take quite some time. Don’t wait up.”
She smiled and left. I turned toward the window, appreciating the last colorful rays of a sun already behind mountains. It was relaxing, and made the papers I wanted to chuck out the window more bearable. Short of actually visiting the site myself (which is generally out of the question), or finding someone with the proper training willing to tote a shotgun up into bear-infested territories to mark out surveying lines (which is generally expensive), the paperwork was my best bet. In the end, it proved the original owners had made a contract regarding water rights. Satisfied, I made my notes, and set my files in order.
It felt good, finishing a long day’s work and getting ready to head home. As I put away the last of my things, I had the acute sense of a presence behind me. I turned to see a young man in the doorway.
“Can I help you?” I asked, pulling on my coat. “I don’t get many nighttime visitors.”
“I’m terribly sorry to disturb you,” he said, “but…I think I am your grandson.”
I stared at him, then bursting out laughing.
“I’m sorry, but I think you’ve got the wrong office. I never had children.”
“Maybe you gave them up for adoption? Or didn’t know about them.”
“Look, if I had a kid, I’d know. One of the advantages of being a woman is you’re not surprised by newly discovered adult children. Plus, if I had a kid, they’d be—how old are you?”
“Sixteen, ma’am.”
“If I had a kid, they’d probably be your contemporary. Anyway, it’s one in the morning. Your parents are probably worried about you. I’ll give you a lift home, on one condition: quit breaking into people’s offices.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m right. I did my research. If you’d look here—”
“You want a lift, or you wanna go to juvie?”
“…lift, please.”
“Well, then, let’s get going,” I checked my pockets to insure I had both wallet and keys before leading the way to the car park. Mine was the only one in the lot, so he went to the passenger side and settled in.
“Now, where are we going?” I asked. He mumbled the address, which I was then tasked with punching into the stupid navigator.
“You want help?” he asked.
“Sure. Never can get the darn thing to work,” I replied, handing it over. He had it set in seconds. “Child, that’s over an hour away. How’d you get here?”
“Public transportation.”
“Let me guess, you haven’t eaten since you started?”
He shook his head.
We stopped for burgers at the edge of town.
“Since you’re stuck with me for the next hour, can I tell you my theory?” he asked.
“I am a bit curious as to why you hold so tenaciously to this belief, so go ahead.”
“Well, I mean, you haven’t disproved it.”
“Most women would freak out if some teen showed up in their office in the middle of the night. But then offering to drive him home?”
“Let’s call it Christian charity.”
“Maybe you feel like you know me, but won’t admit it.”
“Because we share genetics?”
“You’re my grandmother.”
“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
He took a bite.
“When my mom was a baby, she was left at a safe surrender place,” he said.
“That happens to a lot of kids.”
“Yeah, but she was a IVF baby. When she was dropped off, she was left with her dad’s phone number. My grandmom just disappeared. My granddad raised her, of course, and she had me and my sisters. The only adult picture I have of my grandmom is this—that’s you, isn’t it?” he wiped the ketchup off his hands and pulled out a photograph. I took it and held it in the light. I wasn’t sure, but it did look like one of the photos my mum had taken around my college graduation.
“Could also be a lookalike.”
“This woman moves every ten years, is a water rights attorney, and always looks the same. And you just moved here a year ago from across the country.”
“When you set up your practice there, you were thirty-four.”
“Yeah? So I’m thirty-six now.”
“So you moved there ten years ago.”
“So what’s your theory?”
He looked down at his lap.
“Well?” I prodded.
“You’re stuck in a time/space continuum loop,” he blurted out. “For some reason, you’re repeating the same decade of your life over and over again.”
“Excuse me?”
“When you figured it out, you wanted to protect your family, so you ran away.”
I turned on my blinker.
“What are you doing? We need to go on the freeway, not the right of way.”
“Change of plans,” I said briskly, putting the car into park. “Hey, look, do you see that shooting star?”
“Where?” he asked, leaning forward to look out the window.


“You really should close the blinds before you dose,” Janine said. I opened an eye and looked at her.
“Mmm, sun’s still a good three feet away.”
“You have a meeting with a judge this afternoon. A burn on your face isn’t helpful,” she chided. “Also, get your boots off your desk. There’s mud on the heel.”
I obediently put my feet down and watched as she looked through the papers on the table.
“Something bothering you?” I asked.
“Did that boy come back last night?”
“Never saw him.”
She nodded, still looking at the file.
“They found him floating in a diverting canal this morning. He had bite marks in his neck.”
“You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
“Nope,” I said, getting up and stretching. “But, I have been thinking it might be time for a change of scenery. How do you feel about moving to Canada?”
Avatar made by AITB
User avatar
Lady Arwen
The Mermod
Posts: 7639
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
Gender: Female

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests